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Bram Stoker's Dracula (Francis Ford Coppola, 1992)

Confused, rambling cod-epic that severely overstays its welcome.

Despite plenty of pre-CGI visual effects, making clever use of stop-motion, green-screen and reverse photography, as well as a rousing, darkly European soundtrack, the film is viciously staked through the heart by its terrible lead actors, awkward attempts at humour and the stubborn focus on the lumpen-headed, deeply uninteresting love story.

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